Reaching for My Revolver: Part Deux

This Sunday the Wonderful World of Disney will be airing a made-for-television version of Kay Thompson's Eloise. You can read it about it here (link requires registration).

I really don't understand why the precious literary memories of my childhood need to be strip-mined for ideas by brain-dead execs, who serve these abortions up to the public like a pile of dog shite on a China plate. How do I stop this? Does Mike Mulligan need to enter the Whitness Protection Program? Do I have to free the Ducklings? Do I need to give some one a serious sklonking?

If you're interested in the real Eloise, I recommend this edition.

Being bored is not allowed.