That's When I Reach For My Revolver, or Some Movies I Will NOT be seeing this year

Think of the following as a public service. Consider yourself warned.

Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Now I'm all in favor of pirates (aargh says I) but a movie based on a Disney theme park ride? IS the idea-well that dry in script-writing land? What's next? The 'Return of the Tilt-a-Whirl? Bumper Cars: A Love Story?

Freaky Friday
Stop re-filming my childhood. Seriously. Enough.

Looney Tunes: Back In Action
Bugs Bunny and crew in the 'real world.' With Brendan Fraser. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. And yet again, Horrible.

The Cat in the Hat
For fuck's sake, STOP TAMPERING WITH MY BLOODY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES!

The Haunted Mansion
This is truly a vile and evil piece of work. Here's the brief descrpition from Dark Horizons:

Based on the famous Disneyland ride. A father who has previously neglected his family, encounters a ghost when he and his family visit a haunted house. The vision spooks him into a profound awareness of the importance of family.

So this monstrosity will probably be devoid of any real plot-structure but will somehow conspire to try and teach us all a heart-warming lesson about 'family values,' though how you can extract anything profound from a freaking AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE is completely beyond me. And guess who's starring - Eddie Murphy and Don Knotts. God and Baby Jesus, this film sounds totally putrid.

Yes, these are truly the End Times.