Notes From A Life

Yesterday morning a co-worker stopped me in the hall and commented on how evil I was looking. This, we agreed, is a fine thing as it can give one a slight advantage in dealing with the many zipperheads we're paid to assist. Menacing looks can help prevent the stupid questions that are the bane of my working days. In person anyway - I haven't figured out how to menace some one via email.

Later that same day a well-meaning co-worker complimented me on what she referred to as 'your new look.' Yes indeed I thought, I am surely a handsome devil. Then she ruined it by noting that 'not many guys get makeovers and change their look, I thought only woman did that.'

Blech. I'll stick with evil.

On the brighter side, I can now bend over and touch my toes. Touch the floor even. Not very exciting news for you perhaps, but when I started studying Uechi Shohei Ryu a year and half ago I could barely reach past my knees. So I'm perhaps not as old and decrepit as I sometimes feel. Repeat after me, my loyal half dozen, it's the small things...

On a similar note, last Friday night I went up to the dojo to work out. It wasn't a formal class with teaching and such, just some conditioning, sparring and bag-work. Hitting the bag with bare hands removed layers of skin from several knuckles, resulting in some lovely glistening open cuts that have, for the past week, caused folks to glance at my hands, grimace, and ask 'what the hell did you do to yourself?' Sadly, I have yet to come up with a witty answer to that question.

Wondering what to get me for my Christ-like 33rd birthday? (Jeebus, I hope so, it's only five weeks away). Let Mimi Smartypants be your guide. Mmmmmm Bacon.

And more from my strange co-workers. Yesterday some one I've never spoken to before turned and asked me ' Is it true that in their sleep people eat about eight spiders a year?'

Huh? Do I look like I know that sort of thing? Does my evil look some how make me The Master of Spiders? The Archduke of Arachnids? Hear me people - spiders are neither The Whiskey nor the The Sexy.

And then I got to thinking - how do you quantify something like that? How do you determine a person's yearly spider intake? And more important - what would drive you to do so? Who sponsors that kind of study? Apparently this is a pressing question for many - a Google search of 'eating spiders in your sleep' returned 24,700 results. Who knew?

Makes me want to sleep on my stomach though.