Portrait of A Kitchenista

The grill lady in the cafeteria is a member of that peculiar species of Irish-American that delights in misery, both her own and other's. No doubt she was an unpleasant child; now she has reached a cranky middle-age and will most likely spend her declining years speaking of the many injustices she experienced. Secretly she wishes she had a job scrubbing floors so that her children could tell maudlin tales of the terrible suffering poor old mother endured for them.

If you ask her for a steak and cheese, you will receive a look and sigh suggesting that you just added an extra quotient of tears to her already sorrowful existence.

If you ask her for fries with that, you are now adding yet another occurrence to the long list of persecutions endured by the Irish through out history.

Don't even think of asking for onions.