The Answer Man Can

I am a font of useless information; my head stuffed chock-a-block with all sorts of trivial bits about all sorts of trivial things. My friends all know this and occasionally I find myself serving as a kind of bipedal Encyclopedia. If you're out somewhere and find yourself overcome with a sudden need to know 'the name of that volcano that blew up all over the Pacific a long time ago'*, well I'm only a phone call away.

So I wasn't the least bit surprised to have the following conversation with Bunny on Sunday afternoon, in the middle of watching Secondhand Lions.

(phone rings)
Dan: Hello?
Bunny: Mason, it's Bunny. What are you doing?
D: Watching TV. Where are you? Castlebay?** (I can hear a lot of noise in the background).
B: Yeah, I'm down here with the boys. I got a question for you, I need you to tell me who sings this song.
D: What song?
B: It's the one that goes like this... "playing with the queen of hearts, knowing it ain't really smart... .
(Momentary pause as I hold phone away from my ear and stare at it. What the hell is going on down there?)
D: Juice Newton dude. That's Juice Newton.
B: Cool. Thanks Mason, I'll talk to you soon.
D: Later.

I kept the movie paused for an additional minute or so while I tried to figure out how exactly Juice Newton and her one big hit had come into play some 800 miles to the south. And then I considered the usual suspects who were probably involved in that conversation and decided I didn't want to know. It wouldn't make any sense to me anyhow, unless I was there.

*The answer, that time, was Krakatoa.
**Our local in Annapolis.