Mr. Littlefield the Village is calling...

...they're wondering where their idiot is. Apparently, penning pieces full of lame gibberish for the Boston Globe Magazine. (Yes, I know the article is over two weeks old; I came across it today and feel like adding my $0.02). Some excerpts:

"Because though Boston fans say they want the Sox to reign as world champions and may even believe it, that outcome would likely bewilder rather than delight them."

This statement is totally nonsensical. Why would such a development bewilder us? The Bruins, Celtics, and Patriots have all won world championships - is he suggesting we couldn't fathom this strange concept of 'winning?'

"But doesn't it seem more likely that fans (as well as those who weren't aware that they were paying attention) would tremble in the scary novelty of this... this... winning, and that they'd wonder how they were supposed to make sense of the next day that would dawn - that day upon which they would have no new pain to embrace, nobody to blame?"

I'm not sure why this seems 'more likely' to Littlefield except the fact that he embraces the media-fueled myth that Red Sox fans revel in the misery and disappointment of losing and couldn't order their lives without it. Funny that - after the Red Sox beat Oakland last year I don't recall anyone saying 'They might just do it this year. Wouldn't that suck?' or 'If they win this year, what pain will become the guiding star in my life?' Apparently it's too much for Littlefield to conceive that the Sox fans reaction to finally winning might be much the same as Patriots' fans after finally winning - simple joy.

"...this off-season was the best of times, especially for those of us who are fans of marvelous stories and who regard the local ball club as a blessing primarily because of its inexhaustible capacity to generate them."

In other words, not fans who would merely like to see a World Series victory in Boston, but pundits, columnists and talk radio hosts who need grist for their controversy mill.

" If the Red Sox don't win the World Series fairly soon, the team will not have won in the lifetime of anybody. People who root for such a team can, perhaps, lay claim to a kind of distinction. That may be what holds together what has only quite recently become known as Red Sox Nation, whether the citizens acknowledge it or not: not passion, not even suffering, but membership in a fraternity/sorority of loss wherein the only sure thing besides the loss itself is the mad, self-centered, but finally gratifying conviction that the failure is directed personally at each of them and that it will come with a story worthy of a long, long line of such stories."

I can only wonder in what alternate reality does this man dwell. Again with this notion that Red Sox fans enjoy the losing. I especially like part about 'whether the citizens acknowledge it or not.' In other words, if you disagree with his wisdom, why then, you must be in denial. You may not think you take the losing personally, but believe Mr. Littlefield, you do.

"But a couple of floors below the level where the cheap opinions circulate, down there with all the other convictions we ignore so we can get through the business and pleasure of the day, lurks the aforementioned truth about fans hereabouts: They're better off if the Red Sox don't win. "

Lovely. How absolutely condescending - now we're told what will make us happy or 'better off." Here's the real truth - the Red Sox winning would be a far greater blow to the media than to average fan. The gravy train would just come to a screeching halt. No more condescending articles about Sox fans enjoying misery. No more mail-it-in columns about curses. Jesus, what would they write about?

Despite his claims to know how and what Red Sox fans feel and think, and better yet, what's best for us, it's pretty clear to me that Littlefield doesn't know too many regular fans. Donald Hall, yes. Regular folk, no. Should the Red Sox make the play-offs this year, I invite Mr. Littlefield to come down to the local and watch a game. He can even take a survey, asking patrons such gems as 'Don't you enjoy losing' or 'Doesn't the lack of a Red Sox World Series victory make you feel special?' or 'If the Red Sox do win it all, won't your life go off the tracks like a runaway train?'

Or maybe he can enjoy the game without such silly and tortuous questions. And maybe - just maybe - if the Sox win it all, he'll see some simple joy.