Barstool Sports
Last night I was sitting at the local, enjoying my usual post-class feed and watching the game with Kermit, when he announces "I got something for you out in my truck". He exited briefly and returned with two items that he placed on the bar in front of me.
The first was a bright red T-shirt. On the front, emblazoned in white, were the words 'Barstool Sports;' on the back the slogan 'By the common man, for the common man.'
The second appeared to be some sort of newspaper.
"I got these from my uncle. His girlfiend's daughter's boyfriend writes for it."*
The paper was titled Barstool Sports - apparently a free weekly (actually bi-weekly) that I was unaware of up to that moment. Interesting. In the upper left hand corner was a cheesecake snap** of a scantily clad woman with the following caption:
Well ok. I figure why not take a look? At least through page seven.
The articles, on topics such as an 'Introduction to Internet Poker', struck me as weird hybrid of guy's magazine content written in the easy and familiar tone of someone posting to a blog about their weekend hijinks at Foxwoods. But the one that caught my eye was My Meeting With Ben Affleck. The author shared my dismay with Mr. Affleck's ubiquitous presence at Red Sox games, and at first the writer seemed more wrathful than I:
But the author is actually more charitable than I. He has a plan to rehabilitate Ben. First, get rid of all the dough, giving half to the Jimmy Fund and half to the Red Sox. And then follow these rules:
This will only work for Ben's benefit.
Allright, I think I like these guys. Check 'em out, if your sense of humor runs in that direction. And now all I have to do is figure out where in Q-town I can find this free weekly. I'm tired of the Phoenix anyway.
* At least I think that was the connection.
** You can go here to view the paper in PDF format. There's also a website.
The first was a bright red T-shirt. On the front, emblazoned in white, were the words 'Barstool Sports;' on the back the slogan 'By the common man, for the common man.'
The second appeared to be some sort of newspaper.
"I got these from my uncle. His girlfiend's daughter's boyfriend writes for it."*
The paper was titled Barstool Sports - apparently a free weekly (actually bi-weekly) that I was unaware of up to that moment. Interesting. In the upper left hand corner was a cheesecake snap** of a scantily clad woman with the following caption:
It's clear that Tiffani Amber Thiessen likes hooker boots, but what do the women of Barstool sports think? Check out page 7 to find out.
Well ok. I figure why not take a look? At least through page seven.
The articles, on topics such as an 'Introduction to Internet Poker', struck me as weird hybrid of guy's magazine content written in the easy and familiar tone of someone posting to a blog about their weekend hijinks at Foxwoods. But the one that caught my eye was My Meeting With Ben Affleck. The author shared my dismay with Mr. Affleck's ubiquitous presence at Red Sox games, and at first the writer seemed more wrathful than I:
We're exiling you from Red Sox Nation. You've lost touch with us. You sit in the Monster Seats and the owner's box. We blow half a paycheck on bleacher tickets and standing room.
But the author is actually more charitable than I. He has a plan to rehabilitate Ben. First, get rid of all the dough, giving half to the Jimmy Fund and half to the Red Sox. And then follow these rules:
You'll have to pay for all your tickets, waiting in Virtual waiting rooms and scalper's lines like the rest of us. You'll have to drink watered down Bud Light and eat Fenway Franks. No Sam Adams, no Sausage Guy. You can't go on the field. You can't be on TV. Ever. Not FOX, ESPN, or even as NESN's Fan of the Game. You'll be just another guy at the game. If you violate any of these rules, the next game you go to, you'll have to sit in an obstructed view seat.
This will only work for Ben's benefit.
You'll reconnect with the sheer joy of sitting in the bleachers on a summer night and walking out of the concourses into that emerald cathedral amid a sea of red and blue. You'll remember how it feels to pay $5.50 for a beer and then not care when you drop it because Ortiz dumped another one into the monster seats.
Allright, I think I like these guys. Check 'em out, if your sense of humor runs in that direction. And now all I have to do is figure out where in Q-town I can find this free weekly. I'm tired of the Phoenix anyway.
* At least I think that was the connection.
** You can go here to view the paper in PDF format. There's also a website.
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