Red Sox Rants

Obviously I very much have the Red Sox on the brain today. Poking around various Sox blogs today I came across Rallycuff, the self-described 'Militant Cheerleader of Red Sox Nation.' Militant is right - this girl types such sarcastic vitriol that I had to add Rallycuff to my blog roll. Some notable excerpts...

..on the Red Sox style of play:

I don't even have the heart to rant. Inexcusable. This team is fucking pathetic. I'm tired of watching this half-ass bullshit. If I wanted to watch three hours worth of baseball played by a team that looked like they thought they were going to a barbeque but accidentally showed up to a major league baseball game I'd go be a Pirates fan.

..on the inability of the Sox to muster up back-to-back wins:

This team wouldn't know a winning streak if it walked up and bent a 9 iron over their fucking skulls.

..menacing Terry Francona:

I can see either Trot or Nomar out...but Damon too? Fucking moron. Jesus Christ how are the Sox going to win games like this? I think the Sox should make me bench coach, and every time I'd see Tito try to put a lineup like that on the field I'd bash one of his toes with a ball peen hammer for every mis-placed player.

..and how it feels to be a Red Sox fan:

Do you, as a Sox fan, ever feel like you're on that freaky boat ride in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, only instead of Gene Wilder at the helm it's Terry Francona and you're sitting there clutching frantically to Manny Ramírez who's more scared than you are and right next to you is Anastacio Martínez who's shrieking like a little girl -- only Francona doesn't actually have any ability to stop and/or control the boat and is actually just along for the tour like you are?
Cause I do.