Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright
I have not written of the Red Sox lately, but (of course) they have been very much on my mind. Borrowing that trusty sportswriter's crutch, here are some random thoughts on the Olde Towne Team...
Derek Lowe has clearly benefited from Nomar trade; his record since then has been 3-1. But his record of utter suckitude during the earlier parts of the season left me with an abnormally high level of frustration with him. Very unfair on my part perhaps, but every time Lowe gives up a run I simultaneously cringe with apprehension and sputter with rage, thinking 'here we go again - he's going to cough this one up.'
I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. (Take deep breath. Repeat as necessary.)
The Timlinator has returned to the deadly form that made him so effective during the homestretch last year. I'm not the only one who thinks he looks like a hard-ass on the mound; plenty of folks are coming to view him as the Luca Brazi of the Sox bullpen. I do, however, think Timlin's intimidation quotient could be greatly increased. Perhaps you recall the post-apocalyptic epic we call The Road Warrior? And if so, maybe you also recall the chief baddie of the film, a giant iron hockey-mask wearing thug known as The Humungus? Good..still with me? Right then, in the movie The Humungus was chauffeured about in a mean-looking dune buggy-like contraption, driven by a chained gimp of some sort? Well... I think the Timlinator merits such a vehicle to serve has his 21st century bullpen cart. Complete with gimp. That would be an intimidating entry, especially if Timlin wore the hockey mask. Maybe the leather codpiece too - but I doubt MLB would allow that. Even better, do you recall the scene in The Road Warrior where The Humungus chains prisoners to his hoopty, to taunt and intimidate his foes? I bet you do, and I know you'll agree with me when I say the Timlinator should follow suit. Imagine the excitement of the crowd as Mad Mike rolls in from the bullpen, yelling threats over a bullhorn, while the enemy batters chained to his 'cart' wail for mercy. Dig it.
I haven't had (much) cause to complain about Francona lately. In fact, I could resign myself to his presence if they'd just stop showing close-ups of him in the dugout. Unlikely to happen - he is the manager after all - but I'd rather not see certain things. First of all - the rocking back and forth. Some call it a sign of autism; I find it sinister. The rocking starts, and suddenly I hear Dueling Banjos. And then there's the chewing tobacco. Though it's rampant in MLB, I had the other night what some might refer to as a 'searing' experience. The camera was zoomed in on Tito when suddenly viewers were treated to the spectacle of this huge brown mass forcing it's way past Tito's lips. Oh the horror! I nearly fell off my barstool; it looked he was trying to defecate throug his mouth. Truly awful.
More Tigers-Red Sox action tonight. Freaking everybody won last night, including the Yanks, so the Sox need to contiue their blistering pace. Think sweep folks, think sweep.
Derek Lowe has clearly benefited from Nomar trade; his record since then has been 3-1. But his record of utter suckitude during the earlier parts of the season left me with an abnormally high level of frustration with him. Very unfair on my part perhaps, but every time Lowe gives up a run I simultaneously cringe with apprehension and sputter with rage, thinking 'here we go again - he's going to cough this one up.'
I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. I will not to succumb to the fear that we will lose Manny for a length period of time. (Take deep breath. Repeat as necessary.)
The Timlinator has returned to the deadly form that made him so effective during the homestretch last year. I'm not the only one who thinks he looks like a hard-ass on the mound; plenty of folks are coming to view him as the Luca Brazi of the Sox bullpen. I do, however, think Timlin's intimidation quotient could be greatly increased. Perhaps you recall the post-apocalyptic epic we call The Road Warrior? And if so, maybe you also recall the chief baddie of the film, a giant iron hockey-mask wearing thug known as The Humungus? Good..still with me? Right then, in the movie The Humungus was chauffeured about in a mean-looking dune buggy-like contraption, driven by a chained gimp of some sort? Well... I think the Timlinator merits such a vehicle to serve has his 21st century bullpen cart. Complete with gimp. That would be an intimidating entry, especially if Timlin wore the hockey mask. Maybe the leather codpiece too - but I doubt MLB would allow that. Even better, do you recall the scene in The Road Warrior where The Humungus chains prisoners to his hoopty, to taunt and intimidate his foes? I bet you do, and I know you'll agree with me when I say the Timlinator should follow suit. Imagine the excitement of the crowd as Mad Mike rolls in from the bullpen, yelling threats over a bullhorn, while the enemy batters chained to his 'cart' wail for mercy. Dig it.
I haven't had (much) cause to complain about Francona lately. In fact, I could resign myself to his presence if they'd just stop showing close-ups of him in the dugout. Unlikely to happen - he is the manager after all - but I'd rather not see certain things. First of all - the rocking back and forth. Some call it a sign of autism; I find it sinister. The rocking starts, and suddenly I hear Dueling Banjos. And then there's the chewing tobacco. Though it's rampant in MLB, I had the other night what some might refer to as a 'searing' experience. The camera was zoomed in on Tito when suddenly viewers were treated to the spectacle of this huge brown mass forcing it's way past Tito's lips. Oh the horror! I nearly fell off my barstool; it looked he was trying to defecate throug his mouth. Truly awful.
More Tigers-Red Sox action tonight. Freaking everybody won last night, including the Yanks, so the Sox need to contiue their blistering pace. Think sweep folks, think sweep.
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