The Rest of the List

Ten Things I'm Doing to Prepare for the Opening Day and the 2005 Baseball Season, Part II

6. Stretching, both physically and mentally. If you ever watch a Red Sox game with me - particularly a Red Sox-Yankees game - you'll notice two things. The first is that I move about quite a bit. I stand up. I sit down. I pace. I jump up and down. I wave my hands. I bury my face in my hands. I do a little hoppy-skippy dance moves. I need to prepare for all this physical exertion, otherwise I might pull a muscle or something.

The other thing? I swear - a lot. If the Red Sox are losing, I can pretty much guarantee you a continuous stream of profanity. So I'm trying to expand my horizons, to increase my stock of oaths and expletives. Because as Mark Twain said "under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

7. Watching the Faith Rewarded DVD with a frequency that borders on madness. Though it shares much of the same footage as the MLB DVD, Faith Rewarded has a Boston-centric feel that appeals to me. I absolutely love the part where, just before Foulke throws the final pitch of the World Serious, the narrator mentions the generations who have come and gone the a montage of past players flashes across the screen. Sends shivers down my spine.

8. Getting my hate on for the Yankees.

No, no wait. Scratch that one, it's no good. Getting my hate on for the Yankees is a year round thing, a four season gig.

8. Deciding which Red Sox t-shirt to purchase. I am a stone sucka for any merchandise - especially t-shirts and hats - pertaining to my three favorite brands: Miller High Life, Dunkin Donuts and the Red Sox. I don't need any of that stuff but rarely am I able to resist the stuff. And with the momentous events of last season there all sorts of new designs out there. I'm leaning towards this one.

9. Praying to the Bitch Goddess of Starting Pitching. Praying fervently. You know why. The Red Sox lineup doesn't worry me - we'll get runs. The starters do worry me. How many runs will we give up?

10. Fuck it, I'm tired of preparing, I just want Opening Day to be here already.

Two more days.