Gary Sheffield is my Co-pilot

They're a walking disaster. They act like they're tough, how they care so much about winning, but it's all a front. They're just a bunch of characters."

Remember that little gem? That was Gary Sheffield opining on the 2004 Boston Red Sox, shortly before bitch-slapped into submission in the last four games of the ALCS.

I love that quote. That shit never gets old. Never. That quote so never gets old that I have a copy framed and mounted above my bathroom mirror. So that when I wake up on a gray and rainy morning, and I'm feeling down about life and love, well all I have to do is look at that quote. A world that contains people like Sheffield, who say things like that, and then go on to participate in the biggest choke ever... well that world can't be all bad, can it? And then I smile, and a warm happy feeling steals over me, and I do my Silence-of-the-Lambs-dance in front of the mirror.

God is good. Gary Sheffield truly is my bridge over troubled waters. And the man just keeps giving. Here's Sheffield discussing A-Rod and the Yankees coming visit to Fenway:

"We're going to bring our gold, our jewel in there, which is A-Rod," Gary Sheffield told me yesterday during the American League All-Star interview session. "We're going to see how the chips fall this time. That's our man and we know he's our man. We're going to look out for him when he's in a situation like that."
I asked Sheffield exactly what he meant by that statement.
"When he's in a hostile environment, we've got to make sure he's comfortable because it helps our team," Sheffield answered.
And if something like the Varitek incident happens again?
"That's why I say it's going to be different," Sheffield said, looking me straight in the eye.

Showpony is Sheffield's "jewel." Love it. He should have his own reality show.