I Am Easily Amused

What I find to be amusing: this site. A sample:

Out of spite, and probably because — okay, I'll put it this way. Say there's some asshole, this guy who thinks that Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park are the greatest bands on the planet, and he announces that he hates a band called Train. And you've never heard the band train but, you figure, this guy's such a shit-bucket intellect, I'm going to love Train.

But then you hear "Meet Virginia" and "Drops of Jupiter", and you go, "Oh Jesus, that moron's right."

Parisians were my "Meet Virginia."

What else I find to be amusing: my ability to entertain myself in a variety of retarded ways, the latest example being the 'game' (and I do use the term lightly) I made up Friday evening . This is it in a nutshell: use words pertaining to food or cooking in a suggestive (i.e. sexual manner). Very simple. Anyone can play, and endless hilarity results. ..
Boy, I'd like to set her oven on automatic cleaning, clean out her giblets, and baste her a turkey. All. Night. Long.

Hey baby, why don't you come back to my place and I'll wheel out my dessert tray.

Check out the creme de menthe on that broad.

What's that? You don't find that endlessly hilarious? In the slightest?

Well it's probably not you, it's me. All me. I'm turning thirty five in less than two weeks.

But really I'm like, nine. Ten on a good day.

Today's Random Happening
When I was out at lunch today, some lady nearly stuck her finger in my soup.

I was walking by her, with my lunch on a tray, when she pointed at my food, said "that looks good" and nearly dipped her digit in my soup.

Frankly, I was tempted to bite her finger, but I resisted. I also resisted the impulse to snap at her and say "Get your fuckin' fingers out of my soup" and cause a scene. But I didn't.

I just stopped and stared at her until she turned away.

Seriously people. Get your goddam hands outta my soup.