Thanksgiving Five
I thought it only appropriate to note the coming holiday with a special and particular post. A post about being thankful, not only for the presence of certain things in your life, but for the absence of certain things in your life. So, for your illumination and consideration dear readers....
Five Songs So Overplayed You Should Be Thankful If You Never Hear Any Of Them Again. Ever.
5. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
An overwrought song with absurd lyrics, Stairway to Heaven is a blot on the canon of Zep. There's really no need for this song to exist within your musical purview once you leave the confines of high school. Kindly cue up Good Times Bad Times as an antidote.
4. You Shook Me - AC/DC
I likes me some AC/DC. But I cannot - not even a little - abide this song. AC/DC makes hard-rockin' ass-kickin' music. Music for drivin' fast, binge drinking, breaking furniture and simply lighting yourself on fire. The music of AC/DC was not intended - not even in the band's worst imaginings - to be an anthem and rallying call for flipperheads.
3. The Joker - The Steve Miller Band
Wow, was this a tough entry to figure. You could pretty much put down the entire contents of Greatest Hits 1974-1978 and call it a day, but that seemed a little too easy, a little too much like cheating. As it was, The Joker edged out Rock N' Me by a hair, largely due to the fact that after The Joker turned up on an episode of The Simpsons it took on a zombie-like quality of simply refusing to die a decent death. The song has become the kind of nightmarish standard that bar bands feel obliged to cover, while Rock N' Me remains safely confined to the dusty tomb of classic rock radio stations where it can do little or no harm.
2. Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Seger
This entry involved another decision that was very difficult for me to make. Simply put, there any number of Bob Seger songs I need never hear again. Turn The Page? All set with that. Night Moves? Ditto. But in the end it simply had to be Old Time Rock & Roll. How many times has this song been inflicted on me at a wedding? How many times did the video for this song - with those terrible images of the early model Tom Cruise Android prancing about - coming jumping out at me during the long ago days of MTV? Why, I ask you all, why? What was it all for?
And the number one entry....
1. Hotel California - The Eagles
This song is the Chief Devil of Overplayed songs. This song is my Beelzebub. I hate and fear Hotel California. Just the opening notes of this song start me to twitching violently and I will immediately seek to turn the station, unplug the stereo or otherwise terminate the source of 'the bad sound.' If forced to suffer all the way through to the first chorus, I'm generally ready to club Don Henley like a baby seal.
It has been over ten years since I listened to Hotel California from start to finish. Never again.
So there you go. Now go be thankful and have a lovely holiday.
Five Songs So Overplayed You Should Be Thankful If You Never Hear Any Of Them Again. Ever.
5. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
An overwrought song with absurd lyrics, Stairway to Heaven is a blot on the canon of Zep. There's really no need for this song to exist within your musical purview once you leave the confines of high school. Kindly cue up Good Times Bad Times as an antidote.
4. You Shook Me - AC/DC
I likes me some AC/DC. But I cannot - not even a little - abide this song. AC/DC makes hard-rockin' ass-kickin' music. Music for drivin' fast, binge drinking, breaking furniture and simply lighting yourself on fire. The music of AC/DC was not intended - not even in the band's worst imaginings - to be an anthem and rallying call for flipperheads.
3. The Joker - The Steve Miller Band
Wow, was this a tough entry to figure. You could pretty much put down the entire contents of Greatest Hits 1974-1978 and call it a day, but that seemed a little too easy, a little too much like cheating. As it was, The Joker edged out Rock N' Me by a hair, largely due to the fact that after The Joker turned up on an episode of The Simpsons it took on a zombie-like quality of simply refusing to die a decent death. The song has become the kind of nightmarish standard that bar bands feel obliged to cover, while Rock N' Me remains safely confined to the dusty tomb of classic rock radio stations where it can do little or no harm.
2. Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Seger
This entry involved another decision that was very difficult for me to make. Simply put, there any number of Bob Seger songs I need never hear again. Turn The Page? All set with that. Night Moves? Ditto. But in the end it simply had to be Old Time Rock & Roll. How many times has this song been inflicted on me at a wedding? How many times did the video for this song - with those terrible images of the early model Tom Cruise Android prancing about - coming jumping out at me during the long ago days of MTV? Why, I ask you all, why? What was it all for?
And the number one entry....
1. Hotel California - The Eagles
This song is the Chief Devil of Overplayed songs. This song is my Beelzebub. I hate and fear Hotel California. Just the opening notes of this song start me to twitching violently and I will immediately seek to turn the station, unplug the stereo or otherwise terminate the source of 'the bad sound.' If forced to suffer all the way through to the first chorus, I'm generally ready to club Don Henley like a baby seal.
It has been over ten years since I listened to Hotel California from start to finish. Never again.
So there you go. Now go be thankful and have a lovely holiday.
Labels: music, slithytoves
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