The Last Roundup Concludes

These reviews will be real brief, since 2004 has come and gone. If you're curious about any of these titles, leave a comment. Or just the follow the links.

78. Sharpe's Prey - Bernard Cornwell
You will be shocked to learn that in this volume Richard Sharpe a)defeats a nobly-born but treacherous enemy while b) killing some Frenchmen and c) getting the girl. I likes me some Sharpie, but a little variety would be nice. Have him kill some Dutch or something Mr. Cornwell.
79. Crazy Horse - Larry McMurtry
An entry in the Penguin Lives series, this biography is as much about the Sioux as Crazy Horse. Probably because the verifiable facts about Crazy Horse could be written on the forehead of the average historian, with room to spare.
80. Winston Churchill - John Keegan
While there's nothing new here for any Churchillian, this book would serve as a solid introduction to the man and his times.
81. The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett
Did it live up to the advance billing? Nah, nobody, Pratchett included, could be that good. But it was entertaining, and through the character of the Luggage Pratchett did make me laugh out loud, something which rarely happens when I read.
82. J.R.R. Tolkien: Author of the Century - T.A. Shippey
Mr. Shippey goes to great lengths to explain why Tolkien is a very important author. A fun read for extreme Tolkien geeks; the rest of you can stick to enjoying the man's work.
83. The Archer's Tale - Bernard Cornwell
The first of a trilogy of historical fiction set during the Hundred Years War. You will be shocked to learn that in this volume Richard Sharpe, I mean, Thomas of Hookton a)defeats a nobly-born but treacherous enemy while b) killing some Frenchmen and c) getting the girl. Add some Grail lore for extra spice.*
84. Vagabond - Bernard Cornwell
See above; this is the second volume of the trilogy.
85. The Dante Club - Matthew Pearl
Se7en for the literary set.
86. Heretic - Bernard Cornwell
See above; this is the final volume of the trilogy.
87. Wellington: The Years of the Sword - Elizabeth Longford
I was astonished that someone could turn such an interesting life into such a boring read.
88. The Knight - Gene Wolf
I'm honestly not sure what to make of this one; I'm still not sure whether or not I liked it. I probably won't be able to decide until I read the sequel.
89. The First World War - Hew Strachan
I seem to recall reading somewhere that Mr. Strachan is working on a multi-volume purported-to-be-definitive history of the Great War. Unfortunately this book is not part of that work. I recommend Keegan's history of the same name.
90. Off to the Side: A Memoir - Jim Harrison
I've never read any of Mr. Harrison's fiction and I usually do my best to dodge any and all memoirs tossed into my path. But I liked Mr. Harrison's memoir, particularly when he wrote about the outdoors and his dogs. The Hollywood shite I could do without.
91. The Far Side of the Stars - David Drake
Designed by the author as a sci-fi tribute to O'Brian's Aubrey/Mathurin novels, this book is at it's hear good old-fashioned space opera.

*NB: I do like actually Mr.Cornwells' work - it serves as fictional comfort food, and is quite enjoyable in that fashion. But the sameness of his plots occasionally provokes a kind of not-another-holodeck-episode reaction on my part.

Tell You What

First the pen - the Pilot Precise V5 Rolling Ball (Extra Fine) - is a boss pen, the perfect way to accessorize your moleskin.

Yes, I said that. I combined the words 'boss' and 'pen' and suggested you 'accessorize' your moleskin. I am a freak like that.

Second, I'm busy re-writing, and by 'busy' I mean re-writing in a half-ass manner at an uncertain pace, the post Blogger ate on Monday. Which once completed will allow me to move and discuss books I've been reading in 2005.

So the six of you that read this stuff, hold on, more content is a-coming.

While we're on the topic of reading - spring book sale at the Crane this weekend.

A constant of life is that there is generally a Spinal Tape quote for every and any occasion. Such as... the recent trials of the Red Sox, as they careen from the Scylla of injured starters to the Charybdis of shite relief pitching. Such as... Well I'd be a lot more upset about it if I weren't so heavily sedated. Yes, words of comfort from David St. Hubbins, but even wise words couldn't stop the horror as the Orioles had their way with Foulke Ned Beatty style the other night.

But I am fine, and except for the occasional urge to sit under the table and weep silently into my hands, you would hardly be able to tell the advanced state of my concern for the Red Sox rotation.

Kiss Off

I did have a nice long post, with the last of the short reviews from 2004. But Blogger a) ate it and then b) "recovered" only half of it.

I may have to make a switch, since I'm tired of having to remember to back up every single post in notepad.

Fuck off Blogger.

Alternate Lives

Everybody's a dreamer,
and everybody's a star,
and everybody's in movies,
it doesn't matter who you are.
...................................................
I wish my life was a non-stop Hollywood movie show,
A fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes.
Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain.
And celluloid heroes never really die.
-Celluloid Heroes - the Kinks

So: from my comments, to Sheila's blog, and back here again. The topic? Movies you'd like to live in; here are my choices...

Casablanca
This one really is a no-brainer, for guys at least. Who wouldn't want to be Rick? Consider:
1. Rick's cafe is a bar, restauraunt AND casino.
2. The clothes. The clothes in this movie are dead fuckin' cool and men's fashion has only gone downhill in the ensuing 60 odd years.
3. Chicks dig Rick. Ingrid Bergman digs Rick.
4. Rick is not only a business man, he's a man of the world with an air of mystery. He's run guns and dealt in all sorts of criminal enterprises.
5. His criminal enterprises are not necessarily profitable. Underneath the cynicism Rick is really a good guy. A romantic. The proto-type for Han Solo.

Blade Runner
Harrison Ford did a servicable job in his performance as Decker, but he's not the star of this film - that honor belongs to Ridley Scott's vision of the future of Los Angeles. Whenever I see this movie I can't help but want to step onto the streets of that city, to pilot one of those air cars. To explore all the shops and lives of which we catch only glimpses.

The Lord of the Rings
I picked this one for much the same reasons I chose Blade Runner. I don't particularly want to be anyone in this world, or even hang out with any of the characters (although I wouldn't complaint about that); mostly I'd like to be able to wander about, to be a tourist.

Faith Rewarded
What? What's that you say? I already lived the 2004 baseball season? Well, true enough my good man, but... I would like more. Specifically, I would like to step into the club house during the celebrations - that is the part of the DVD that never fails to tickle my happy bone.

Start Together

I suppose it's a function of aging, but I no longer keep current on what the supposed latest and greatest in the world of music. What I hear on the radio is shite; what I hear touted as the next great thing in what passes for alternative these days is sounds derivative. In short, most of the music I listen to is old, by artists who are no longer recording.

One exception to this rule is the band Sleater-Kinney - I buy their albums ( boy, does the use of that word date me) the day they come out. So I was quite chuffed to learn that their latest effort, The Woods, will be available on May 25th. I recommend you give 'em a listen. Hell, if you're really interested you can have a copy of the unofficial greatest hits I,ll be burning on my shiny new PC, just to whet your appetite.

What Has It Gots In Its Pocketses?

From moleskinerie I surfed to this post about the need for an "object pager:"

Clearly, the demand for such an 'object pager' is growing. A few years back all we had to remember was the designers' holy trinity of wallet, keys, and mobile phone. But now there's also the iPod, the digital camera, and the Blackberry...

While I don't have quite that much stuff - the digital camera generally stays home and I haven't purchased an Ipod (yet), I do have have enough stuff to merit an equipment check before leaving the house. By equipment check I mean patting down my pockets to make sure everything is in place; by stuff I mean the following items I take out into the world with me every day:

1. Keys - car and house. Yeah, that one's a no-brainer.
2. Church key i.e. bottle opener (attached along with keys to carabiner keychain). I mention this mainly because googling the words Thorben bottle opener led to the discover that my church key, which I've had for about a dozen years, is some sort of collectible.
3. Cell phone
4. Pocket Knife
5. Notebook
6. Pen

What have you get in your pocketses? What kind of 'gear' do you tote about on a daily basis?

State of Grace

Yesterday I mentioned the fact that recently I saw a Cary Grant movie for the first time. That particular film - To Catch A Thief - also marked the first time I watched a Grace Kelly movie.

Being that I'm a movie geek and book geek, you will not be surprised to learn that prior to this viewing I'd read any number of sentences containing the words "beautiful" and "Grace Kelly." Still reading about the beautiful Grace Kelly and seeing the beautiful Grace Kelly are two entirely different things. Watching her on screen for the first time, I experienced one of those punched-in-the-stomach moments, where the air vanishes from your lungs because you're stunned by what your'e seeing. Beauty with a physical impact.

Hither n' Thither

So, um, yes. Here we are. Or there you are. Or rather here I am, grasping for some sort of inspiration, some sort visit from my muse. In his excellent book On Writing Stephen King described his muse as a dude who lived in the cellar. My muse is more like that guy who's always stealing your wallet and going on a bender for several days, i.e. not necessarily reliable.

Aaannnnyway. Netflix continues to be the main spike for my media habit. For non-cable-having-no-TV-watching-except-baseball guy like me, it's an ideal way to catch up on TV shows. I believe I've already mentioned working through Firefly, The Wire (seasons one and two and I can't wait for three) and Deadwood (season one) , but besides these American shows I've also caught up with some British ones, namely Danger UXB and Reilly: Ace of Spies. Both of these aired on PBS during my long-lost youth, but prior to Netflix I've never seen either one in it's entirety. Danger UXB follows the career of Brian Ash, an engineer assigned to dispose of unexploded German bombs during the Blitz. Reilly: Ace of Spies is based on the exploits of British agent Sidney Reilly , who was reputedly the real-life inspiration behind Ian Fleming's James Bond (not, I should add, the Bond of the movies.) I highly recommend both.

I've also been watching Cary Grant movies. A lot of Cary Grant movies, because (and it pains me to admit this) pior to a month or so ago I had never seen a Cary Grant movie. Shocking but true. So now I'm working my way through his films, and I've come to two conclusions...

Conclusion the first: among the many things that have declined in quality since the days of our grandparents is the romance genre of movies. Today if you go looking a for a romance flick you are likely to wind up with some insipid drivel starring Tom Hanks or that insufferable muppet Meg Ryan or both, or some awful pablum featuring the latest teen sensation.

Your grandparents got The Philadelphia Story.

Conclusion the second: Cary Grant was Steve McQueen before Steve McQueen. What I mean is that both men possessed a quality, apart from their acting*, that sets them apart. Call it cool, call it charisma, call it presence, call it duende - it doesn't matter. When Grant or McQueen are on screen it's difficult not to watch them, even if they're not doing anything. They look good doing nothing. I have a feeling I'm not getting my point across, but I know I'm on to something here.

From the Files of Incidents-Involving-Baseball-That-Make-People-Think-I'm-A-Crazy-Man

Last night after class I went to grab a bite to eat and catch the eighth and ninth inning of the game. When Tito let Vazquez hit, and we lost, I went into a brief mini-tirade, involving certain words of Anglo-Saxon origin that begin with the earlier letters of the alphabet. So far, just another Tuesday evening in the life.

Except that since the kitchen at the local was closed for renovations, I was not at my customary location (where my occasional outbursts are treated as part of the background) but next door, where the staff and patrons are unfamiliar with my ways. Especially the patrons, and particularly the gaggle of Irish chicks sitting nearby. Well - that wasn't much of a story was it. Man yells profanity, women avoid eye contact. Guess you had to be there, to see the sudden change in their body languages and voices that basiocally signalled we're trying really hard to pretend that we don't think this guy sitting next to us may be a lunatic.

As you were.

*You can be a great actor, like Daniel Day-Lewis, and not have this quality; conversely you can have this quality and not be a great actor, like McQueen himself.

Light Dusting

There's been a few minor changes to the blogroll. A couple of new joints were added, and a couple were banished to my kinja account due to lack of updates.

That is all.

Jackie Robinson Day

Simply put: Jackie Robinson has always been one of my heroes. Today is Jackie Robinson Day in Major League Baseball.

Classic

From the Llama Butchers - the Unitarian Jihad!

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Hand Grenade of Enlightenment.

Get yours.

Dance This Mess Around

The Bunny came home this weekend. Beer flowed like water, and money seemed to leap from my wallet in great clumps.

But we did, I believe, cover all the necessary bases.

Close the local out several nights in a row? Check.

A late night trip to IHOP? Check.

A leisurely afternoon watching the Red Sox? Ditto.

A hugely indulgent feast at Abe & Louie's? Oh yes. (Note: crabmeat on mushroom, steak tartar, ribeye steak, beer, wine and may taste fabulous going down, but do not necessarily mix well the next day.)

And of course there was the Red Sox Opening Day, the whole reason the Bunny returned. A number of us trooped into Boston Monday morning. None of us had tickets but it seemed right and necessary to be in the city in order to celebrate properly. First beers were opened at the Littlest; the pre-game ceremonies were observed at the Black Rose and the game itself viewed at Clarke's.

A picture later. Maybe

Four O'Clock Lightning

This is the play-by-play (from ESPN) of Mariano Rivera's disastrous 9th inning save attempt:

-Mariano Rivera pitches to Bill Mueller
-B Mueller walked.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Mark Bellhorn
-M Bellhorn singled to right, B Mueller to second.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Johnny Damon
-J Damon singled to right, B Mueller to third, M Bellhorn to second.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Trot Nixon
-T Nixon struck out swinging.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Manny Ramirez
-M Ramirez safe at first on error by third baseman A Rodriguez, B Mueller scored, M Bellhorn to third, J Damon to second.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to David Ortiz
-D Ortiz grounded out to pitcher, M Bellhorn scored, J Damon to third, M Ramirez to second. -Mariano Rivera pitches to Dave McCarty
-D McCarty walked.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Edgar Renteria
-E Renteria singled to shallow left center, J Damon and M Ramirez scored, D McCarty to second.
-Mariano Rivera pitches to Doug Mirabelli
-D Mirabelli walked, D McCarty to third, E Renteria to second.

Some people think the Red Sox are in Mariano's head. Other folks feel that the success the Sox have against Rivera is due to the large number of times the two teams meet during the regular season. Me, I'm starting to wonder if there's not some physical cause for Rivera's woes. Is he injured? Or worse, at least from the Yankee's point of view, is the above a result of his skills being in decline? If I were more of a stat geek I'd look to see if I couldn't dig up some solid evidence of pitchers suffering abrupt (and permanent) declines in performance.

Strange Love

Two things to note here.

First, Petey went six innings today, giving three runs while walking two and striking out twelve. Twelve K's... goddam.

And second? That uniform may fit but it will never fit.

The Naming of David

After David Wells staked the Yankees to a four run lead, I decided it was time to check in with the Bunny. I don't think the cellphone rang more than once before it was answered. Without premable, or so much as a "hello" or "what's up?" the Bunny launched himself into the heart of matters.

"I called him Moonpie."

There was no need to explain further.

Sifting Again

Submitted for your persual....

...an article on Sherlock Holmes. While I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Sherlockian, I've read and enjoyed all the orginal stories by A. Conan Doyle (the 'canon') as well as some of the pastiches.

The 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers. Can you dig it?

50. Alex Rodriguez
Third Base, New York Yankees

The $250 million Yankee is so difficult to like, so impossible to root for, that he might be the only athlete in all of sports who would actually look better if it came out that he was a steroid user. If it turned out that A-Rod was a juicer, the ensuing decline-and-fall drama might add some humanity to his hideous, fake-ass Mr. Perfect public persona.

The mystery of the Bridgewater Triangle. Somehow it escaped my notice that I grew up in the middle of a paranormal hotspot.

And lastly, I gave you the moleskinerie. Release your inner notebook fetish.

The Rest of the List

Ten Things I'm Doing to Prepare for the Opening Day and the 2005 Baseball Season, Part II

6. Stretching, both physically and mentally. If you ever watch a Red Sox game with me - particularly a Red Sox-Yankees game - you'll notice two things. The first is that I move about quite a bit. I stand up. I sit down. I pace. I jump up and down. I wave my hands. I bury my face in my hands. I do a little hoppy-skippy dance moves. I need to prepare for all this physical exertion, otherwise I might pull a muscle or something.

The other thing? I swear - a lot. If the Red Sox are losing, I can pretty much guarantee you a continuous stream of profanity. So I'm trying to expand my horizons, to increase my stock of oaths and expletives. Because as Mark Twain said "under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

7. Watching the Faith Rewarded DVD with a frequency that borders on madness. Though it shares much of the same footage as the MLB DVD, Faith Rewarded has a Boston-centric feel that appeals to me. I absolutely love the part where, just before Foulke throws the final pitch of the World Serious, the narrator mentions the generations who have come and gone the a montage of past players flashes across the screen. Sends shivers down my spine.

8. Getting my hate on for the Yankees.

No, no wait. Scratch that one, it's no good. Getting my hate on for the Yankees is a year round thing, a four season gig.

8. Deciding which Red Sox t-shirt to purchase. I am a stone sucka for any merchandise - especially t-shirts and hats - pertaining to my three favorite brands: Miller High Life, Dunkin Donuts and the Red Sox. I don't need any of that stuff but rarely am I able to resist the stuff. And with the momentous events of last season there all sorts of new designs out there. I'm leaning towards this one.

9. Praying to the Bitch Goddess of Starting Pitching. Praying fervently. You know why. The Red Sox lineup doesn't worry me - we'll get runs. The starters do worry me. How many runs will we give up?

10. Fuck it, I'm tired of preparing, I just want Opening Day to be here already.

Two more days.